Aug 12

This in an intervention

“We need to talk.”

Jolted out of the book I’m writing, I turn to see most of Tanyana’s debris collecting team standing in the doorway to the study. Miza and Uzdal in front, arms crossed, wearing identical unimpressed expressions. Sofia pokes her head out from behind Uzdal, obviously unsure about the whole thing. Natasha, as usual, remains aloof. She’s not even in the room, but out in the corridor, leaning on the wall and smirking. Navi wanders past, pausing to rub up against Natasha’s leg. Typical. Natasha’s just the kind of person Navi would like.

“Um,” I reply, not sure what’s going on. “We do?”

“Of course we do!” Mizra storms into the room and sits on the desk beside me.

“Damn right we do!” Uzdal follows suit, realises Sofia hasn’t moved, grabs her hand and pulls her in after him.

Mizra waves at Natasha. She just shrugs, jams her hands in her stolen jeans — it’s so weird the way they like to wear my clothes — and says, “I’m good here.”

No point arguing with her, so Mizra turns to me instead. “Don’t you like us?” he asks.

Like you?” What is this about? “Of course I like you. I wouldn’t have written about you if I didn’t like you. Look, I really don’t have time for this. I have a new book to–”

“We know,” they all interrupt, in unison. Even Natasha.

Oops, I obviously said the wrong thing.

“And we don’t like being ignored.”

“Okay.” I do a quick save and turn the screen off, before giving them my undivided attention. “This is not about you. I’d hoped by now you’d all know that. I’m allowed to write other stories and other books. It’s what I do. But it doesn’t mean I don’t love you any less.”

“Oh please.” Natasha finally pushes herself off the corridor wall and enters the study, one eyebrow raised. “We’re not talking about that. We’re not idiots, you know.”

“Then what is this about?”

“Where’s our interview?” Uzdal snaps. “Even Lad got one! What about us? We’re part of the story too. We’re just as important and vital and all that, so how come you don’t want to dedicate a blog post to any of us?”

This takes me by surprise. I didn’t realise the interviews meant anything to them. “Well, firstly, it’s not like you’ve missed out. I’ve only done Tanyana and Lad so far. Not even Kichlan’s had a go!” I pause. “Actually, that’s a good point. Why isn’t Kichlan here too?”

“He didn’t want to come,” Sofia says, with a disdainful sniff. “I asked, but he said he couldn’t care less about your stupid interviews.” She hesitates. “Actually, he said more than that, but I try not to use that kind of language.”

Crap. I knew Kichlan was pissed at me for interviewing Lad first, but I hadn’t realised just how pissed. I’d have to do something about that soon.

“Look,” I say. “I didn’t mean to hurt any of your feelings. It’s just, well, I kinda ran out of questions to ask. But you’ll get a blog post out of this! Isn’t that enough?”

Mizra stands. Uzdal, Sofia and Natasha come closer, until they’re all leaning over me. And, as one, Tanyana’s debris collecting team say, “No!”

… To Be Continued



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  1. Rabia


    They have you cornered. Better get to it!

    1. Joanne

      I know! Help! 😉

  2. dr. susan emans

    I must agree with the team. The interviews give your sad, suffering fans something to cling to while we wait for the next book. No rescue here.

    1. Joanne

      Oh no, are you ganging up on me too? 😉

  3. dr. susan emans

    Yep! Not only am I used to big, pleading eyes, but I pulled on my big girl panties and finished Suited, and when the shock wore off, I threw a temper tantrum. So, I’m on their side for this one.

    1. Joanne

      I hope you enjoyed it at least! (temper tantrums aside) :)

  4. dr. susan emans

    Of course, I loved it! See comment above: ‘sad, suffering fans’.

    1. Joanne

      Hooray! (although I don’t actually want you to suffer!)

  5. dr. susan emans

    To elaborate: I bought it, I loved it, I recommended my metro library buy it, they did.

    1. Joanne

      Oh fantastic! Thank you! :)

  6. John

    I love this! This interaction with your characters? Brilliant! Whenever I read a really good book I often feel the people I’m reading about are not just characters but actual people. I sometimes imagine whole conversations in my head and you doing just that makes me grin. :)

    1. Joanne

      It’s not just me! I totally do that – and not only with my own characters :)

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